And by “hard,” I mean “hard liquor,” of course. What did you think I meant?

I’m not sure exactly why Ron Jeremy thinks that people are interested in drinking a liquid with his face on it, but here it is, Ron de Jeremy Rum! “Ron” does means “rum” in Spanish, so, maybe the wordplay was just too good to pass up. I’ve seen worse marketing ideas.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons I’m not big on rum; I feel like this kind of nonsense wouldn’t fly in Scotland. But if the show Entourage can launch an actual tequila, Puff Daddy (excuse me, “Diddy Dirty Money”) and Jay-Z can have competing brands of vodka and Ron Jeremy can put his mustachioed mug on a bottle of rum, then I’ll just stick to Scotch, a-thank you very much! No offense to “The Hedgehog,” of course, I just don’t want him anywhere near my mouth. [Uncrate]